God’s Armor Bearer

The most destructive, spiritual abusive book on Christian shelves…

I’m sorry Terry Nance… this has to be brought into the light. The book you penned, ‘God’s Armor Bearer’ almost destroyed me.

AI/Digital Art by

The Willow Tree

April 2010

This was one of those ‘it seemed a good idea at the time’… When our PASTOR introduced this book to the leadership in 2010, it looked like solid teaching. ‘Serve God’s chosen (the Pastors) without reservation’. And we wanted to at that time. We had become ‘used to’ the abuse and had been blinded from reality. Our core purpose was to serve the ‘vision of the house’ through marketplace ministry… to boldly go where no man had gone before, transforming communities through knowing Christ and loving people, and moving, forwards, together by believing, becoming and belonging. We shouted from the rooftops ‘this is home’ and encouraged the community to do life together and take a ‘RISK’ so we could build a hope and a future by giving everything to the cause.

A book about ‘Serving God’s Leaders’ seemed to sit comfortably within our worldview of putting the Pastor and HIS family first, and ensuring they were protected and supported, forsaking all others.

To be expected to ‘demonstrate extreme loyalty to our leader, even unto death’ p.31 did not at the time trigger any red flags. In fact, we were so sold out to the idea, that we even worked on children’s church curriculum that would teach the younger generation how to ‘sacrifice their own life and well-being for the betterment of their leader (Pastor)’ p.31

Our PASTOR went to great lengths to get the leadership on board with the principles in this book. There were training nights regularly in those earlier years. As time went on and there was a realisation that most newcomers did not respond well to this type of brainwashing, the book was simply gifted to new leaders with the hope that they would grab a hold of the principles and run with them. The ‘Armor bearer’ vending machine worked overtime with the turnover of leaders marching through our ranks.

It was this book that almost stopped us from speaking truth, when the light was desperately required.

Early 2023

Just months prior to the ‘nuclear button’ being smashed, I’d welcomed back our Executive Pastor,

The Naked Armor Bearer

after he’d been away for some time due to illness. I showed appreciation for him, and he responded back, “I’m just called to be the Pastor’s armour bearer”. At this time I nodded in agreement. It’s what I’d learnt. It’s what I’d been implanted with. And it sounded right.

Months following, when I came to the realisation that I’d been spiritually abused for many, many years, I fell into a space of confusion. I didn’t know who to go to, who to share with. Should we just walk away quietly?

At some point we felt led to speak with

The Naked Armor Bearer

in full understanding and knowledge that his ‘armour bearer’ convictions would likely see him reporting back to the Senior Pastor.

We acknowledged that risk and decided we would accept that and forgive, knowing that this was the protocol we would have followed back when we were elders.

We just knew we had to speak truth.

After sitting down for hours, sharing the pain with our Executive Pastor, and witnessing some of his, we knew we had been heard. And we knew that life would never be the same again.

What came next is another story for another day and another post. But suffice to say. Truth and Light and Freedom prevail.