Every Story Needs a Protagonist...

ENFJ (Protagonist) is a personality type with the Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging traits.

Sep 09, 2024

Who is the Protagonist personality type?
ENFJ (Protagonist) is a personality type with the Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging traits. These warm, forthright types love helping others, and they tend to have strong ideas and values. They back their perspective with the creative energy to achieve their goals. — https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality

According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, accessible at www.16personalities.com, the protagonist is the ENFJ personality. I won’t detail all the characteristics listed - you can see for yourself here: https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality

People with the ENFJ personality type (Protagonists) feel called to serve a greater purpose in life. Thoughtful and idealistic, ENFJs strive to have a positive impact on other people and the world around them. These personalities rarely shy away from an opportunity to do the right thing, even when doing so is far from easy. — https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality

You might be curious why I’m focusing on this topic. For those who have followed Willow Tree for some time, you may recall a story I shared about when our PASTOR had all the leaders take the Myers-Briggs Personality Tests. I vividly remember that moment—where we were, where HE sat, and not just my own results, but also HIS.

As you may already have guessed. I am an ENFJ — The Protagonist. But what was the MASTER (the Antagonist)? And do our personality types play out through our story?

Every story needs a Protagonist…

ENFJ personalities possess an innate sense of justice and an unwavering commitment to standing up against what they perceive as wrong. —

https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality

Early 2006

As a church, we had recently moved into the old portable buildings at the back of the college. We had put a lot of effort into renovating the double classroom, painting the walls and laying down new carpet. We draped black material over the whiteboards during services to make the place feel more ‘church-like’. There was a shared sense of ownership and pride in what we considered ‘our domain.’

On weekdays, our ‘kingdom’ was shared with its actual owners—the school. My music classroom was connected to the double classroom that served as the ‘church auditorium.’

Church was school, school was work, work was church. It was all one.

Since I frequently mention this place in my writing, I thought providing a rough mud map might help you better understand its layout. These buildings are long gone, replaced by a sports field and surrounded by impressive new infrastructures. So much has changed since the humble beginnings of both the school and the church.

It was a weekend, like many others, and the leadership had gathered for a training day at the church.

Compound Fracture

and I were still relatively new to this community and had never before encountered such an all-encompassing church experience. Being immersed in church activities every waking moment did not seem like a red flag to us at the time. As a young married couple, eager to serve God with all our gifts, we had both grown up in church environments that emphasised loyalty and commitment. The school we were employed by, and located within, was also a Christian institution. The school's values seemed to align seamlessly with our church and all our ministries, blending into a blur of servitude and endless programs — all for ‘the kingdom’.

After the morning session in the church auditorium (delivered by our PASTOR), we made our way over to the ‘General Classroom’ where we sat at small, child-sized grey desks as we prepared to take the official Myers-Briggs personality test. One of our newly appointed leaders, MBTI-certified, had a wad of paper tests ready for us. According to him, the results would deepen our understanding of one another, fostering stronger connections and teamwork.

The results would help the MASTER understand how to use us more effectively…

There was excited chatter. I was keen to discover more about myself. And this was an opportunity to do so.

The PASTOR positioned himself close to the exit. I sat in the row in front, towards the middle of the classroom. We scattered ourselves throughout the room, ready to take pen to paper.

The test took most of us around 45 minutes. In it, questions were presented like: Do you tend to be more: a. deliberate than spontaneous b. spontaneous than deliberate, and Are you more likely to: a. see how others are useful b. see how others see.

I still recall how I felt in my twenties—utterly devoted to the PASTOR's vision. HIS passion and charisma were contagious, and I wanted to mirror HIS drive. As I sat down to take the test, I was conscious that some of my answers leaned more towards how I imagined HE would respond rather than my own instinctive reactions. I was still maturing, and my intense sense of empathy was only just beginning to take shape at that stage in my life.

At the conclusion of the test, we all compared answers. There was ONE ENTJ in the room and there was just one ENFJ in the room. However, I noted a subtle difference as I analysed the sliders on both my PASTOR’s test and my test. My Fe (Feeling) slider was close to the middle, not far off the T. His slider was a little further up the ‘Thinking scale’.

We were similar, though. At the time, this was encouraging. I wanted to understand HIM so I could support him better. Having similar personality traits threw me into the role of ‘right-hand person’—HIS go-to, HIS spokesperson—the one who could explain ‘what HE meant’ after HE attacked someone… because I could ‘understand HIM.’

I’ve repeated this test, several times over the past couple of years. I nevertheless get the result ENFJ-A. I don’t remember my answers from previous tests, and I’m sure that my slider has changed a little here and there, especially with all the trauma endured. But, no matter how many times I take this test, it is always the same.

Personality type: Protagonist (ENFJ-A)
Traits: Extraverted – 75%, Intuitive – 77%, Feeling – 71%, Judging – 65%, Assertive – 90%
Role: Diplomat
Strategy: People Mastery

I take note of my role in particular. Diplomat… Yes, that I was. That I have been. I’m the in-betweener. The person who calms the storm. The ‘fixer’. The ‘mediator’.

I also take note of the word ‘Judging’. It is not what you think…

Judging individuals tend to have a strong work ethic, putting their duties and responsibilities above everything else. To them, rules, laws, and standards are the key to success. They can be too dependent on these measures, whether applied to themselves or others. But the intent is almost always one of fairness and results. — 16 Personalities

As we look back now on the personalities who have contributed to our incredibly chaotic story, we do witness some clarity.

The MASTER is ENTJ. He is the Commander. The leader. If HE was to do this test right now, honestly, HE would also get ENTJ-T — Turbulent.

Every personality type has weaknesses. For the ENFJ, it can be the following:

Your empathetic nature is both your greatest strength and your potential Achilles’ heel. While it allows you to form deep, authentic connections with others, it can also leave you vulnerable to emotional exhaustion. You may find yourself taking on others’ problems as your own, sometimes at the expense of your own well-being.

When you look at the ENFJ weaknesses and present them next to the ENTJ weaknesses, together it can result in a powerful cocktail… As it did for us. We became the enablers and the fixers for the ENTJ. We tried to understand HIM. We tried to make excuses for HIM. And we missed our focus — others. But when we turned our eyes towards the sheep, our understanding altered.

Here are some of the weaknesses of an ENTJ-T. I wonder if we recognise them?

Stubborn and Dominant – Sometimes all this confidence and willpower can go too far. ENTJ personalities are all too capable of digging in their heels, trying to win every single debate, and only pushing for their vision without considering the input of others.
Intolerant – “It’s my way or the highway” – People with the ENTJ personality type are notoriously unsupportive of ideas that distract from their primary goals and even more so of ideas based on emotional considerations. They won’t hesitate to make that fact clear to those around them.
Impatient – Some people need more time to think than others – an intolerable delay to quick-thinking ENTJ personalities. They may misinterpret contemplation as stupidity or disinterest in their haste – a terrible mistake to make. (Sorry
Compound Fracture
I know this one stings)
Arrogant – ENTJs respect quick thoughts and firm convictions and may look down on those who don’t match up. (Which is why the ENFJ’s in this story were able to keep up with HIM) This is a challenge for most other personality types, who are perhaps not timid in their own right but will seem so beside this sometimes overbearing type.
Poor Handling of Emotions – At times, ENTJ personalities can be distant from their own emotional expression and sometimes downright scornful of others’. People with this personality type often trample others’ feelings, inadvertently hurting their partners and friends, especially in emotionally charged situations.
Cold and Ruthless – Their obsession with efficiency and unwavering belief in the merits of rationalism, especially professionally, make ENTJs fairly insensitive in pursuing their goals, dismissing personal circumstances, sensitivities, and preferences as irrational or irrelevant.
— https://www.16personalities.com/entj-strengths-and-weaknesses

As an ENFJ, it's my nature to analyse patterns and seek answers. I've needed to understand how we became vulnerable to the MASTER and why we stayed so long. Writing, reading, and having discussions have been helpful outlets.

I was HIS ENFJ sidekick for the first decade…

HE broke me, and yet I still remained (loyal and committed).

And then, HE found a new ENFJ as HIS right-hand-man —

The Naked Armor Bearer

. HE ran the test again. The MASTER analysed HIS prey.

Yes… This one. He will do nicely…

Until he didn’t.

Until we didn’t.

To anyone facing a similar battle, remember you are up against a giant, but everyone's journey is different. Our personalities are unique—God created each of us with exceptional qualities. Even within the same personality type, subtle differences can lead to vastly different responses in any given situation.

In our story, the fighters have been the J’s—the warriors of justice, the ‘Judging’ personalities. But even among us, there are distinct differences.

Through everything we've experienced, I’ve come to believe that a narcissist’s greatest ally is often an ENFJ—and their biggest challenge is also an ENFJ — The Protagonist.

The altruistic narcissist pastor may be any personality type. In our story HE is an ENTJ. But there are many more covert narcissists, too, that might fit into a more introverted personality type. A good reference for this is Chuck DeGroat’s work on Narcissism and how the Enneagram Personality types present: https://theallendercenter.org/2021/01/narcissism-church-chuck-degroat/

Our story has two protagonists, one for each decade, who came together to bring the story to its conclusion…

I write this as an analysis of intrigue, as a pattern seeker, as a person who desperately wants to understand myself and others.

If you are interested in doing a personality test you can visit:

https://www.16personalities.com/

That being said, you might find that you don’t quite fit into the box — like